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| Case Study: Werd Attack |
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Music and screen fade in with Smo and Gro behind the desk.
Gro: Welcome back to another episode of NGFL : Case Studies. Loud crash is heard in background. Gro: Wha...What was that? Looking a little confused and bewildered. Smo: (Nervously fidgeting) Maybe the IRS figured out I've been cheating on my taxes. Gro: Anyway on with the show. Another loud crash is heard. Smo: (Looking around hysterically) Oh my gosh! This is the end of me. My home, my cars, my computer, my TVs, my video game systems, all my music......and MY GUITAR!!!!! (Begins crying) It's all going to be taken away from me. (Runs off full speed screaming) LIBERTY!!!! I'll save you!!!!! Gro: Could someone tell me what's going on?! Banging and crashing is still heard. Gro: Whatever....today's story starts off like any other story. Chanting is faintly heard. Angry Mob: Down with the anti-women pigs! Down with the anti-women pigs! Gro: Our hapless fool gets up to start another day, and goes about his buisness. Chanting gets louder. Smo runs across stage waving his arms in the air. Smo: Mooooooommmiiiiiiiiiiie!!!! Gro: (Trying to ignore the chaos) Well this day just happens to be a Sunday none the less. Chanting gets louder. Gro: Well..just wait this Sunday was no regular Sunday. Smo belly slides across the floor in front of the desk. Gro: (Aggravation showing on his face) This Sunday our hapless fool's ex-girlfriend shows up at his own church nonetheless with none other than her new boyfriend. Smo: They're here. The aliens have come to take over the world! First us, then the world!!! Gro: (Puzzled look on his face) Guess what it's not even the church she regularly attends... no she's only been there once before...with HIM!!! Smo gets up and slowly walks around as if he's out on the battlefiled trying to surprise the enemy. Gro: So what does our boy do .... what can he do....NOTHING!!! Smo: (Heard from backstage) He can save himself!!! He can save himself!!! Gro: He just has to sit there in church and grin and bear it. Smo Comes flying out of the rafters, strapped by a bungi cord. Smo: All right, men! Move, move!! Execute, Execute!! Gro: And being the nice guy he is that's just what he does. Banging, crashing, and chanting is still going on. Gro: Right up till the very en..... A loud crash is heard followed by several more crashes. Smo: (In a commander voice) They're breaking through. Once the doors come down, fire at will!! Gro: OK what the heck is happening!! Security guard comes running into the screen and frantically whispers something to Gro.. Gro: It seems three unidentified women are trying to break into the NGFL Studio. They were heard ranting something about down with the anti-women pigs. Gro put's on commander helmet and picks up side arm... Gro: If it is war they want, it's war they got! Smo: We shall divide and conquer!! Smo and Gro run off behind the security guard. The camera follows. Backstage we see a group of security guards trying to hold back the angry mob. The doors are about to bust open. Smo and Gro walk up to the doors. Smo: Would you guys shut up and listen!! The mob gets quiet. Smo: What do you guys want from us? Angry mob begins chanting again. Angry Mob: Down with anti-women pigs! (Repeat phrase over and over) Smo: I think you have the wrong studio. This is the Oxygen Studio, you know the women's channel? We're all about women here. Spokesperson from mob: (Puzzled) Oh we're sorry, we thought this was the NGFL studio. Smo: That's the next studio over. Spokesperson: Ok guys, let's move on over to the next studio! Smo: That should give us some time. Gro: Man that was quick thinking... Mob is heard leaving.... Smo and Gro are seen giving security guards instructions and they quickly scramble. Smo: Ok, while they're taking care of that, we're going to go get the fire extinguisher, some chocolate syrup, and your paintball gun. Gro: Chocolate syrup?...well ok Smo and Gro take off to collect the ammo. They head upstairs where they go out on a balcony. Smo: Ok, they'll be back, so we're gonna have to work quickly. Smo and Gro open up the fire extinguisher and pour the chocolate syrup into it. They tie ropes around their waste and tie the other ends to the balcony rail. They connect the hose into the CO2 port in the paintball gun and do the same for another gun. They kneel down in opposite corners of the balcony and wait for the signal. Security guards are placed over head with bag full of feathers. Gro: I think I saw this on MacGuyver once... Smo: No way dude, this is original. Women are heard marching back. The loudest one is heard metioning something about her pot smoking boyfriend. Loudest Person: I wonder if the weed keeps my man from being like them?! Gro and Smo bound and gag one of the guards to use as bait. They hang him over the side of the building. The women spot the guard. Just as they are about to devour him.... Smo: (Motioning to Gro) Go! Go! Smo and Gro leap over the side of the balcony, guns in hand. As they fall in on the mob, they fire away. The mob is covered in a dark brown, syrupy blanket. The mob starts slipping and falling over each other. The guards open up the bag of feathers, and the feathers slowly fall onto the chocolate mob. Smo and Gro detach themselves from the ropes. They circle the mob taunting them and laughing at them. Smo: The ultimate payback. Humiliation and embarrassment. Smo and Gro high five as the screen fades to black. |