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Case Study: Loco Cocoa Warfare

Screen and music fades in. We see Smo and Gro scrambling for their lives.

Gro: Ok, ok, so maybe yesterday's show wasn't such a good idea after all, but I thought it was funny, didn't you? Anyways, they deserved it.

Smo: Of course they did. We get that kind of treatment all the time. Except I enjoy chocolate more than they seem to.

Smo and Gro dive behind an overturned coke machine for cover as paintballs are seen splattering over it.

Gro: Man these chicks really mean buisness. It's like the whole feminine gang is after us.

Smo: That's a nice thought...if they didn't have the guns.

Gro: Got any chocolate bombs on ya?

Smo checks his pockets

Smo: Nada senor!

Gro: Just super lets break for it!

Smo and Gro head through the open doors out into the streets just outside the studio.

Gro: Ok, ok, we gotta come up with a plan. We can't let the fem-bots there take over the studio. Just imagine what could happen. They might turn it into another Oxygen!!

Smo and Gro shudder at the thought.

Gro: Let's head over there so we can regroup.

Smo and Gro duck into an old abandoned warehouse just as we see the women go running past.

Smo: Never, I mean never, get us into this again.

Gro: Ok how did we get in this predicament in the first place?

Smo: You made the mistake of letting a woman into the studio after yesterdays episode.

Gro: Oh yea....Uhm sorry!

Smo: You got the sorry part right. You got any bright ideas, slick?

Smo smacks Gro across the back of the head

Gro: Ouch sheesh people these days are soo touchy.

Smo raises hand again

Gro: ok..ok..ok already.

Smo: Ok, forget this, we've got to get ourselves out of this.

Gro: scratching his head So what are we gonna do?

Smo: You got us into this Einstein, you get us out.

Gro: Gee thanks.

Smo pops Gro in the back of the head again

Gro: How am I supposed to think with you damaging my brain like that?

Smo: I dunno that's your problem and you better start thinking quick.

Gro starts thinking and the screen goes fuzzy we reappear in Gro's thoughts.

Gro: Man, I could go for a cheeseburger right now. Guess I'll have to wait till we weasel our way out of this one, hmm I wonder what Smo's thinking. I wonder why he always gets the girls. Well nevermind I know why he always gets the girls. I wonder if I become buff if I'll ever get a girl hmm what kind of retarded plan can I come up with to get me out of this.

Screen fades back into live action.

Smo: Come up with anything Sherlock?

Gro:I got it

Gro dials the phone, mumbles a few words, and hangs up. Moments later several large packages are dropped through the window.

Gro: Man that was slow, he needs to be a little quicker next time.

Smo:(Crawling out from his hiding place) Who? What? What just happened?

Gro: Oh I just dialed our Military contact for supplies, no biggie.

Smo: (Opens box) Whoa! Never seen anything like this before. Chocolate AK-47, chocolate mines, chocolate grenades, chocolate proximity mines, and what the heck? Bracelets, rings, ear rings...wait a sec, these are all chocolate, too. Whoa, dude! Check out this pen.

Smo and Gro inspect the pen.

Gro: I bet if you push that button it will explode or something.

Smo: Let's head back to the studio. They'll go back there when they don't find us anywhere else.

Smo and Gro run back to the studio with the supplies. Smo walks in and pushes a button on his remote.

Smo: The tables have turned.

Smo and Gro take the weapons and ammunition and set the articles of jewelry out on the table. Smo runs off and appears on the catwalk above the studio. Gro takes a spot behind some old boxes and crates.

Smo: (Talking into radio) Wee Wee Dee Mee this is Lew Bew Chew, do you copy?

Gro: (Talking into radio) Lew Bew Chew this is Wee Wee Dee Mee, over.

Smo: Sorry. I just had to try these out.

Gro: Yea this is pretty cool.

Door is heard.

Gro: Shh. Somebody's coming.

Smo: I've got visual. All the victims from yesterday's episode, over.

Gro: Roger that. I can't see a thing from down here, over.

Smo: Roger that. They're all together, coming in from the lobby, over.

Gro: Roger that. I've got my sights set on the door, over.

Smo: If they come in and start looking at the jewelry, let them look. Do not fire, over.

Gro: Hehe, roger that.

The group enters and looks around the room. One of them notices the fine, sparkling jewelry on the table. They all walk over and inspect.

Girl #1: Wow, look at this. It's so pretty. This stuff wasn't here when we ran out.

Girl #2: I know. Something's fishy about all this but I'm going to take this ring.

Girl #3: I'm taking this bracelet.

Girl #4: I've got dibs on the ear rings.

Smo: (Whispering) Roll the gold ball out in front of them, over.

Gro: (Whispering) Roger that.

Gro rolls the gold ball across the floor. The group jumps at the noise and turns around to look.

Girl #2: Where did that come from?

Girl #3: I don't know but Smo and Gro are here. I just know it.

Smo: Let them walk over the mines before firing, over.

Gro: Roger that.

The group splits and begins looking around. A scream is heard as the rest of them rush over to see what happened.

Girl #1: Oh my. Chocolate, go figure. What happened?

Girl #3: I don't know, I just walked over, and...boom!...I got splattered.

Girl #2: Hmmm, we better continue searching.

Girls split once more and begin searching. Another scream is heard. The rest rush over to see what happened.

Girl #1: What happened?

Girl #2: The same thing that just happened to her.

Girl #4: Ok, the best thing for us to do is just stand still and wait. We have more patience than those losers anyway.

Smo: Ok, they've figured out about the mines. They're just going to stand and wait, over.

Gro: Gotcha, I'm throwing a grenade, over.

Smo: Good idea.

Gro pulls the pin on a chocolate grenade and chunks it over the boxes. Screams are heard.

Girl #2: What was that? Probably something else chocolate. Good thing it missed.

Smo: Miss, miss! Try again, over.

Gro: Roger that.

Gro chunks another one. Screams are heard.

Girl #3: It didn't miss that time. Now we're all wet and sticky. Ewwww.

Smo: Direct hit, direct hit! Over.

Gro: Rock on! Hehe!

Girl #2: Let's forget standing still. We're safe no where. And if they've got anymore chocolate, I'd be surprised.

Smo: Hehe, did you hear that? Over.

Gro: Roger that, I did hear, over.

Smo: Fire at will my friend, over.

Gro: Who's Will?

Smo: You dummy, fire when ready.

Gro: Oh yea, roger that.

The girls walk over the stack of boxes. Gro ducks in behind one and pushes the other ones over. Scrambling is heard. The girls are trying to move the boxes out of the way when Gro jumps and and begins spraying them with his chocolate-loaded AK-47. Gro runs out of ammo and runs off.

Gro: Muwahahahaha, Alisa, you're still lookin' good in chocolate.

Girl #3: Shut-up!! ARGHHHH!!!!

Girl #1: Who said they'd be surprised if they had anymore chocolate?

Girl #2: I don't remember anybody saying that.

Girl #1: (Slapping #2 in the back of the head) You idiot. Now we know Gro's here, but what about that Smo. Surely he's near by.

Gro: They're looking for you, Smo. Over.

Smo: Roger that. I've still got visual.

Gro: Be careful, you know how "hot" women are, no pun intended.

Smo: I know what I'm doing.

Several minutes pass by. The girls regroup in the main studio.

Girl #1: We've searched all over this place. No Smo and Gro's gone off and disappeared, too.

Girl #2: I didn't find anything.

Other girls: Us either.

Girl #4: Are we just going to leave and forget about it?

Girl #1: Sure sounds like a plan to me. I want to get this crap off of me.

Girl #2: Yea, let's go. I could use a nice hot shower after all this.

Smo: Did you hear that? Nice...hot....shower....hehehe.

Gro: No, what's going on out there?

Smo: They're leaving. They're going to go...clean up.

Gro: And you're just gonna let them go?!

Smo: I know what I'm doing. When you see me head out the door follow me, but stay pretty far behind.

Gro: Rogert that.

The girls walk out. Smo quickly climbs down and heads out a different exit and follows them to #3's house. Gro trailed Smo, just as planned.

Smo: Ok, I'm going to stay in the backyard for about 15 minutes, then if they don't come out...I'm going through the doggy door. You run up and ring the front door bell on my mark.

Gro: Aye, aye, capt'n.

The 15 minutes pass by and nothing has happened.

Smo: Nothing's going on out here. Go ring the doorbell.

Gro walks up to the front door and rings the door bell. #1 answers and immediately yells for the others when she sees Gro. Gro, not being able to resist it, walks into a hostage situation. Outside, Smo is sneaking around, peeking in the windows. He sees Gro tied to a chair in the living room and the four girls surrounding him. It appears they are using they're attractive, feminie ways to torture him. Smo slowly but surely makes his way through the little doggy door and into the kitchen.

Smo: (To himself) I almost didn't make it through that little door. Whew. (Sigh)

Smo sneaks his way around to the door leading to the living room. He stops to listen in.

Gro: I'm just glad to be in a room with four girls. Even if I am tied to a chair.

Girl #2: So you don't know where Smo is?

Gro: What do I get if I answer correctly?

Girl #4: How about I play with your hair?

Gro: Tempting, very tempting. Okay you win this one. He was hiding up in the rafters at the studio. (#4 begins playing with his hair) After you guys walked out he said I'm going to follow them. That's the last I know. (#4 slaps in the back of the head disgustedly)

Girl #4: You've got to know more than that, (Rubs Gro's cheek) you sure you don't know more?

Gro: (Getting sweaty and fidegty. #4 rubs his cheeck again and runs her hand through his hair) Arg!! He was in the backyard last time I spoke to him.

Smo is shown cringing.

Smo: (To himself) Great! My cover is blown.

Girl #2: So he's in our backyard?

Gro: Last time I talked to him he was.

Girls 2 and 3 run out the front door and run around back. The reappear in the living room.

Girl #2: No sign of him anywhere.

Girl #3: Hmmm, he's around here though. We know that for a fact. (Winks at Gro) Thank you, honey.

Gro: How about dinner and a movie?

All 4 Girls: Don't think so, loser!

Back in the kitchen Smo appears lost. Not knowing what to do he barks like a dog.

Smo: Woof! Woof!

Girl #2: That's a sick dog you've got there.

Girl #3: That's no dog, you dummy. I bet that's Smo.

Girl #3 runs into the kitchen.

Girl #3: Ah, ha! I found Smo!!

Smo: Sucker!

Smo pulls out his chocolate AK-47 and chugs #3 with chocolate.

Girl #3: Ahhhh!!! I just took a shower!!! You creep!!

Smo: That's the beauty of it.

The other 3 girls come running into the kitchen.

Girl #1: We've got you cornered now.

Smo pulls the trigger on his gun and nothing comes out. He happens to notice the girls are wearing the jewelry from the studio.

Girl #2: Ha! Ha! You're out of ammo. What are you going to do now super hero?

Smo: Uhhhhh....I-I-I....

Girl #4: Finally, we get our chance for revenge.

The girls begin to charge Smo when he pulls out a pen and points it at them. The jump back in shock.

Girl #2: And what are you going to do with that?! Write all over us?

Girl #1: Yea, really. You think you're soooo smooth.

Smo: Cause I'm am.

Smo dives under the the table in a desperate attempt to hide. He pushes the top of the pen down and the jewelry the girls are wearing splatters chocolate all over the kitchen.

Smo: Rock on! I didn't expect that to happen.

Smo: Hey Gro, this pen made the jewelry explode. We win again!

Gro: That's nice. How about coming and getting me out of this chair.

Smo: I'll see ya back at the studio, buddy.

Smo walks out as the girls stand in the kitchen whining.

Gro: Smo!? Hey Smo?!?! Smo!! Come untie me!! Arg!! Not again.

Gro tries to get up and walk away while tied to the chair but falls over on his side. Rendered helpless, Gro begins crying. Mommiiieee.

Screen fades to black