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Case Study: Behind the Judge's Bench

*Screen and music fade in. The studio is setup like a courtroom. There's a jury, a judge's bench, and tables for both prosecution and defense. The jury is comprised of some of the finest stuffed animals available. Smo and Gro are standing in front of the judge's bench wearing white t-shirts with the bold title "Complicated Women" written acorss the chest. The camera pans around to the back where there is a list of names on the back of the shirts.

Gro: Welcome to this episode of women who su...I mean NGFL: Case Studies. I'm Gro, (points to left) this is Smo. Today...well today is the payback episode.

Smo: (Puts on judge's robe and takes place on the judge's throne. Speaking sternly, well-educated, and philosophically) First case, please.

Gro: Yes, we have kidnapped...errr...I mean we had all of the women who have ever done us wrong brought to this courtroom.

*Smo looks through a file.

Gro: First up will be Ms. Rusty Cookies. Ms. Cookies has been charged with being contrary among other things. Judge Smo, what is the verdict?

Judge Smo: (Straightens up and clears throat) After examining and analyzing my material and taking from my personal experiences, this subject is guilty.

Gro: Off to the dunking machine!

*A dunking machine is rolled out to the center of the courtroom. It is filled with chocolate. Ms. Cookies is placed in the seat.

Gro: Ms. Cookies, is there anything you would like to say for yourself?

Ms. Cookies: I just wanted to say...

Gro: I didn't think so.

*Gro pushes a button and Ms. Cookies is sent into the small chocolate pool.

Judge Smo: Next case.

Gro: Next up, we have Righteous Jezzebel. Ms. Jezzebel has been accused of chasing Smo and causing Gro to suffer from third wheel anxiety attacks. And once again we have a contrary female.

Judge Smo: Jury, you know the case. Make your decision.

*Jury sits in silence and stillness. Gro walks over and takes their note and hands it to Judge Smo.

Gro: Judge Smo, your verdict, sir?

Judge Smo: (Looks at the piece of paper. Disappointment appears on his face) The jury has decided...(smile appears on his face)...guilty!

Gro: Ms. Jezzebul you have been found guilty and sentenced to the firing squad.

*Firing squad files out and lines the left wall of the courtroom. Ms. Jezzebel is placed in the center of the courtroom on her knees.

Gro: On my count, fire away! (Pauses) Fire!!

*The firing squad lets loose a blanket of chocolate, drencing Ms. Jezzebul.

Judge Smo: Next! And somebody clean up that mess.

Gro: Next up we have Short-e Vader, she's been charged with general nuisance and corrupting an innocently simple mind.

Judge Smo: Jury, please analyze and form your verdict.

*Jury sits in silence and stillness. Gro walks over and takes a note and gives it to Smo.

Gro: Ok guess what? I'm guessing the verdict is guilty, but we'll ask the judge anyway. Judge Smo, your verdict.

Judge Smo: (Looks at piece of paper) Guilty as charged!

Gro: Yup, thought so. It's off to the midget chocolate chair with you.

*Short-e is strapped into a small chair.

Gro: Short-e Vader, you've been sentenced to the chair, any words you'd like to say?....Well of course there are, but this isn't a three night mini-series so take this.

*Flips the switch and chocolate coats Short-e.

Smo: Next case, please.

Gro: (Yelling) Stuffy Mammal to the courtroom please!

*Stuffy Mammal is brought in by the bailiff. The crowd's eyes go wide with excitement.

Gro: Stuffy, you've been charged with being excessively good looking, sweet, and nice. Personally, I can see you are guilty, but I think your punishment should be a little different. Judge Smo?

Judge Smo: She is guilty of these charges, but I am dropping all charges and requiring her to meet me in my office after this is over.

Gro: (Clears throat) I think we'll discuss this after court is adjourned! Next, we have...ahh forget the alias...bring out Alisa.

*Alisa is drug out kicking and screaming.

Alisa: No!!...No!! I hate this place, no!!

Gro: Alisa you've been charged with conspiring with Short-e Vader. Do you have anything to say for yourself?

Alisa: No not the chocolate. I hate the chocolate. Please, please, please, no!

Gro: Oh not so tough now that you're not in control huh?

Alisa: (Seductively) But you liked it didn't you? And Smo, he's such a stud.

Gro: Riiiiiiiight. Judge Smo, your verdict?

Judge Smo: I'm such a stud, eh? I'd like to meet with her privately.

*Screen fades out. It fades back in to Smo's office. Smo is behind his desk and Alisa is in a chair opposite of Smo.

Smo: So, did you really mean what you said out there?

Alisa: Of course I did! I hate this place but you're the only reason I put up with it.

Smo: Well, I'll say you're not guilty, but you have to go to dinner and a movie with me.

Alisa: Hmmm, I really busy. I don't know if I'll have time.

Smo: Then you will be charged guilty, and the chocolate will be distributed.

Alisa: No, no, not the chocolate, anything but the chocolate. (Seductively) Smo, I really have deeper feelings for you than what I act like.

Smo: Why do you refuse to go on a date with me then?

Alisa: Cause you're a nice guy, but I'll make an exception to save myself from the chocolate.

Smo: Ok, I've got to go back out there and tell the courtroom you're not guilty.

*Screen fades out. It fades back in to the courtroom.

Gro: So, Judge Smo, what's the verdict?

Judge Smo: After my conference with Ms. Alisa here, I have decided...(makes a motion to Gro)...not guilty!

*Courtroom ahhhs in disbelief.

Alisa: (Jumps up) Yes!!! Ha! You're such a sucker! I would never give you the time of day!!

Judge Smo: (Casually) The joke is on you.

Alisa: Huh?

*Gro flips a switch and the floor under Alisa opens up and she falls into a pit of chocolate.

Gro: Women, puh-lease. Like I would have let her go anyway.

*Gro walks over and looks down into the pit.

Gro: Hey Alisa, you still look good in chocolate.

Alisa: (Gurgles) Shut-up!! (Gurgles)

Gro: Well that's all folks.

Judge Smo: This court is now adjourned. (Bangs gavel)

*Screen fades to black.