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| Case Study: Choco Crossdresser |
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*Screen and music fade in. We see Smo and Gro behind the desk.
Gro: Welcome sports fans. We have another exciting, yet informative episode of NGFL: Case Studies. I'm Gro, along side me is my color commentator Smo. Smo: Today's matchup is...uhhh...I don't know. (Turns to look for papers) Gro: You see we've added the teleprompter for this special episode. *In true sports caster fashion Gro draws on the teleprompter to show it works. Smo: Ooooo, neato. Can I try? (Smo grabs the pen and draws a picture of a Gro: Today's lesson, fellas, is one about choosing who your female friends are and why? Smo: Oh, this should provide for some quality entertainment. Gro: All people of the male persuasion all want to hang around people we are attracted to right??? Smo: I would hope so or what the heck or we living for? Gro: Ever think that wasn't such a smart move??? Smo: Nothing we do is ever a smart move, Gro. Gro: Ok guys, if you know you have no shot with a girl like this, why subject yourself to such torture as to having to hear their problems with other guys when you're screaming the whole time WHAT ABOUT ME???? *Writes on the teleprompter good looking girls=friends and draws a big circle with an X through it. *Smo grabs the pen and adds pretty flowers around the image. Gro: See if you are friends with good looking girls you end up having to force yourself to go through things guys shouldn't have to go through. Smo: (Lowers head in shame) We are so stupid! Gro: Now, on the other hand, if you come upon some trogalodite with no personality hang on to her as long as possible that is the best and most objective kind of female friend to have because neither of you are in anyway intrested in the other. *Gro writes trogalodite=friend and circles it. Smo: (Grabs the pen and draws a question mark) Now, if we did this, what fun would any of this be? Gro: Fun...Fun....???? Seems I've heard that term before Smo: Sure. Gro: Ooooh is he being sexist or chouvanist NO he's being REAL! Smo: I don't think there's any fun in going with the easy way out. Gro: Who wants fun I'm just giving survival tips buddy... Smo: I'd rather have fun. Gro: Would you like to know how we know these things, BEEN THERE DONE THAT got the mental wounds. Smo: Ouch, they s-s-s-s-suck!! (Writes suck on the teleprompter) *Gro appears to get taller. Gro: Take this example unfortunately I had to learn the hard way. Smo: Wow, how did you do that?! Gro: I've befriended at least five gorgeous females one of whom I made the mistake of growing quite fond of. *Extremely gorgeous girls with the initials something like CJ walk by. Gro: Yup check out this hottie for example. Smo: Ahhhh....flashback! (Smo starts going crazy. Jumping up and down, slamming his head into the desk.) Stop it, stop it!!! Arg!!!!! Ahhhh!!!!!!!! (Rams head into the wall, begins running wildly around the studio) Gro: Yea well she repeatedly and unwittingly stomps my heart day in and day out with slight comments she doesn't even realized she is making. Smo: (Runs into wall and falls over) Arg!!! Help!!! Ahhhh!!! Gro: Yes cruel isn't it to have to hear how she really liked this guy but he's a jerk and won't treat her right when I know I could treat her way better. Smo: Oh wait, you're talking about what I think you are. Gro: The others know they just like to play it up. Smo: I feel really stupid, and I have a killer headache. Gro: Atta way boy blunder get back to your teleprompter. Smo: Sir, yes, sir! Gro: And as for Smo... well I don't know if Smo has ever experienced this. *Gro steps down off soapbox. Smo: Uhhhh, who am I? Where am I? Who are you? (Holds head) Owwww.... Gro: Oh uhm you're my very unattractive loser slave who will give up on all the girls you like and send them to me. Smo: Ha! My head isn't hurt that bad. Gro: Shucks. Smo: Muwahahahahaha!! All the ladies will be mine. Gro: So what about you Smo, word of advice on this subject? Smo: When life hands you a lemon, sell it for a profit, and use the money to buy those foot warmers for your pet monkey, and if there's any money left over buy that pooper scooper to get all that crap out of your reversed iguanas chumby bumby bin, and if there is still money save it so you can eventually buy that pair of 1950s original Scooby Doo underwear you've been looking for all over eBay. *Suddenly JC or CJ or whoever she is goes over and unlocks the studio door and lets Alisa in Smo and Gro are totally unprepared. Gro: Smo got the choco gun handy???? Smo: No, Jeff took it away from me and told me no more chocolate until I show better behavior. *Alisa followed by her accomplice approaches Smo and Gro. Smo: Uhhh, what are we going to do? Gro: First we're gonna ask her what the problem is then more than likely we'll end up running for our lives. Smo: Let's just run!!! *Gro takes off running. Gro: OoooKaaaayyyyy Smo: Uhh, which way did he go, George, which way did he go? Gro: Smo man what are we gonna do buddy? Smo: Do we have any chocolate candy left from Halloween? Gro: Yea it's in the storage shed with your cross dresser stuff. Smo: Uhhh, I have no knowledge of these things you speak of. Gro: Uh huh, just as Nixon knew nothing of Watergate and Clinton knew nothing of improper relations, huh. Smo: Eggggactly, now let's bust a move over to the shed. *Smo and Gro head out the door and into a little shed. They enter and find the walls lined with dresses and other femnine clothing items. Smo: Like I said, I know nothing. *Gro digs around. Panties, lingerie, and stockings go flying through the air. Gro: Ah ha!! I found some. Smo: Yes!!! Let's get to a microwave. (Smo starts to run off) Wait a sec... The plot has thickened. (A microwave drops down and Smo sticks the chocolate kiss in to melt it) This is our only hope. *Smo and Gro run back into the studio. CJ and Alisa approach them. Smo throws the bowl of melted chocolate at them. Gro: Wow! I was right, two females can look good in chocolate at the same time, and flying chocolate through the air is like poetry in motion. Smo: "Two paths diverged into a wood...." Alisa: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I can't believe it! I was gonna approach you to see if you wanted oh nevermind. *Alisa storms off closely followed by CJ. Gro: Wondered what she wanted? Smo: Blast!!!! We screwed that up, major. Great idea you had there, slick. Gro: Know what, Smo? I bet if those who signed the message board on the NGFL site more often they'd end up with much less chocolate in their hair. Smo: Chocolate in the hair is like bird poop falling through the air. Gro: Oh well another day in the life of the Nice Guy. Smo: Ok, let's end this one. Adios amigos. *Screen fades to black. |