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| Case Study: Beautiful Rockies Gone Bad |
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Static is heard. It seems as if there is a weak signal. Occasionally a voice is heard. Finally
the static clears. The screen fades in.
Smo: (Dressed in eskimo attire. Holding hand up to ear) This is Smo coming to you from a remote location in the Rocky Mountains. (Static) We're trying to see if nice guys still finish last on the this side of the country. We take you live to Colorado State University. Hubbdub, Gro, are you there? Screen goes to CSU campus. Gro: Yea, Smo. We can hear, not to clearly, but nontheless we can hear you. Hubbdub: Hey Smo, long time no see. Smo: (Static) Tell me about it. We have no time for chit-chat now. Let's get on with our mission. Hubbdub: You've got that right. Come on, Gro. I'll show the world around CSU, and maybe we'll find out if nice guys still finish last on this side of the country. Gro: All right, let's go. Camera follows Gro and Hubbdub as they walk around campus. Hubbdub: As you can see, as on most campuses across the country, we have a fine assortment of ladies. From tall to short, cute to drop dead gorgeous, we've got them all. Gro: (Turning around to look at a chick) Yes, (Big smile) I can see. Smo: I can't believe I'm stuck up here, on top of this mountain, while you guys are getting all the action. (A growl is heard in the background) Uhhh, nevermind. Gro: Smo?, Smo?! You still there?? What's going on?! Smo: Ahhhhhh!!! (Connection is lost) Hubbdub: What's going on? Gro: I don't know, Smo was complaining about getting none of the action, then I heard him start screaming, and then the connection died. Hubbdub: Hmmm, should we be worried? Fine lady walks by. Gro: (Watches her as she passes by) No, I think we should continue on with our mission. This is important work. Hubbdub: Well, ok. Let's continue onward. Gro: So let's ask this guy. He looks like a fairly nice guy. Hey buddy, I gotta question for ya what's your name? Guy: Hey my name is Bond, Bail Bond, anyway, what do ya need? Gro: (Rolls eyes at mention of name) Yea uhm anyway you look like a nice guy. Bail: Well you know I try to be nice to all the ladies around here and all, but it seems the nicer I am the less attention I get, I mean I've done everything a guy could do and, know what?, no one even looks my way. Gro: You've answered that question. Suddenly a group of guys and girls pass by. Guy in the crowd: Hey it's that Gro dude from NGFL. Gro, Gro. I gotta story for ya. Another Guy in Crowd: Yea me too!!! Suddenly this small crowd becomes a large crowd of people pushing to get at Gro to tell him their story. Poor Hubbdub got trampled in the process. Gro: Hubbdub you down there dogg? Hubbdub: Yea. Ouch! That's my spleen. Ouch! Ouch! Run Gro run! Suddenly an even larger group of women come toward Gro, with pitchforks and burning piles of twigs. Gro: Good thing I learned my alphabet, A...B...C ya later! Tape recording is heard. Recording of Smo: The plot has thickened. (Microwave ding is heard) Gro takes off running, followed by the mob. It seems some have taken offense to the comments made about pot smoking boyfriends, and it looks like a familiar choclate face is in the crowd. KW: Get the loser girls, my mop-headed, pot smoking boyfriend is to chicken to stand up for me, but I wuv him so much. Gro starts ralphing everywhere. Gro: Ugh, she can find a way to ruin almost anything. Gro rounds the corner, and there they are, every adversary Gro and Smo have ever faced. Alisa, Alicia, Russanna, Ella, OhiHO, and all the others. Another tape recording is heard. Recording of Smo: The tables have turned. (Remote button click is heard) Hehe! Gro: Man Carrie brush your teeth, that smell is awful, uh hey Russ and Alicia, what do you two want? Russanna: Ah nothing, but we heard they were gonna burn you at the stake, so we thought we'd watch. Gro: Oh...hey there Ella, Alisa...You still look good in chocolate by the way.. Alisa: Shut up! Ella: Yea doodie head. I mean loser, we're gonna take you down. Gro: Uh Ella, uhm why?? Ella: We're tired of you making fun of us. Gro: Riiiiiight, chocolate covered strawberry shortcake. Ella jumps at Gro into a full side Karate kick. Fortunately for Gro, Ella sails right on past him into a tree. Gro: Take a seat on the pine! Hehe. Crowd converges on Gro, as the mob already chasing him, gets closer all of a sudden. Voice from above: Hey Gro grab this. Gro: Word Hubbdub, the old rope into the trees to safety trick gets 'em every time. Hubbdub: Glad to be at your service. Gro: No time for chat, off to the cafeteria. Hubbdub and Gro race off to the cafeteria where they lay in wait for the mob. Gro: Gotta love what's comming next. Hubbdub: Huh?????? Gro: You really need to read more episodes. Hubbdub: (Suddenly realizes) Ohhhhh. The mob approaches and walks right into the center of the room. KW: Where is he? I can't see. My eyes are too red. OhiHO: I don't know but you just let me have him first I'm gonna... Ella: Close your mouth please, there's something stank trying to escape. Gro: (From outside the window with a hose) Hey girls....(Turns to Hubbdub) This was a great investment. Gro opens up the hose and large quantities of chocolate coat the room and everyone in it. Gro: Hey Alisa told you, you looked good in chocolate. Hubbdub: Man let's bolt. Gro: Ok they're done for the day. After an hour of singing the "no christmas carols" Hubbdub and Gro prepare to part ways. Gro: and here's to another NGFL: Case Study goodnig... Suddenly static is heard in the background. Gro: Huh? Smo? Smo: (Breathing heavily) Ahhhh!! Help!?! Somebody! Anybody! Get off me you stupid.... Voice: Hehehehe, you're not going to win this one! Where are your friends when you need them? Smo: Ahhhhh!! (Static) Ahhh!!! No!!! Hey that's not my leg! Voice: I know, hahahahaha! Smo: Oh dear.... Gro: Smo!?!? What's going on? Hubbdub: Smo? I take it you've met the mountain ladies. Smo: These are ladies? You're joking?!?!?! Hubbdub: (Laughing hysterically) Nope. I tried to tell you not to set up the satellite link up there. Voice: Oh take that stupid thing off. Smo: Ahhhh, get off me, you beast!! (Begins crying) Mommmmmmmiiiiieee!!!! Static is heard. Gro and Hubbdub are rolling on the ground in uncontrollable laughter as the screen fades to black. |