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| Case Study: Moons, Women, and Rock n Roll |
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Screen and music fade in. Smo, Gro, and Drew are in an empty room jamming. Smo on lead guitar,
Gro on acoustic guitar, and Drew on drums.
Smo: Oh hey, guys. We were just in the middle of practice, and I realized we hadn't taped tomorrow's show yet, so we just thought we'd bring the cameras down here and save us a lot of rushing around. Gro: For real dude. This is getting mad hectic and I haven't even had time to bathe. Sorry guys. Drumstick is seen flying past Gro's head. Drew: That's what you get for blaming it on me. Door is heard. Russanna walks in. Russanna: What are you guys doing? Smo: We're working on some songs. Hopefully we'll start getting gigs in the near future. Russanna: You know you guys are going to get all the chicks now, and this NGFL stuff won't be anymore. Smo: NGFL will never die. Nice guys will always finish last. Gro: Yea, even being musicians won't help us. Russanna: You guys just watch. You'll see that I'm right. Smo: Whatever. Gro: Right, the day I stop being fat, then NGFL can worry, but by the look of this gut we'll be here a long time. Fifteen minutes pass by. The door is heard again and a group of three girls come walking in. Smo: The plot has thickened Girl #1: Hey guys, what's going on? Smo: Oh, not much, we're just working on some songs. Girl #2: Cool, we heard the music from outside and had to come see what was up. Gro: Right I be sure..uh huh...where's Russanna?? Girl #1: Russanna who? I just really dig guys that play in a band. Other two girls nod in agreement. Gro: Yea and know what? I'm the pope. (Reaches over and puts on a pope-looking hat) Girls just look at Gro puzzled. Gro: Ah...nevermind. The girls all turn their attention to Smo. Girl #2: The electric guitar really turns me on. Girl #3: Me too. Girl #1: I just like musicians period. The sweat beads up on Smo's forehead. Girl #2: PLay something for me. Smo starts playing this awesome riff, followed by a romantic solo. As he finishes, the girls swarm him. Gro: GSF (Heard mumbling) Russanna is seen peeking through the window at Smo. When she notices the girls she turns around and leaves. Gro: Man this is ridiculous. I got lead vocals and play a mean accoustic and what do I get? Nada. Smo: So ladies, who wants to give me the first massage. Gro: I got an idea (turns to Drew) Hey Drew take your ski mask off. Drew takes off his ski mask and slickly walks across the room. Drew: Yea Gro???.....Oh hey ladies!! Girl #2: Ooh Drummers turn me on. Girl #3: Yea me too. Girl #1: They are much better than sorry guitar players. Gro: (laughing) Go figure. Smo:The tables have turned. (Pushes button on remote. Looks at Gro in disappointment) You just had to didn't you? You knew as soon as that mask came off, those girls would be Drew's. Drew walks out with all three girls. Gro: Ouch another NGFL moment. Russanna walks back by the window and sees the girl are gone. She decides to come back in. Russanna: I told you guys I was right. Smo: No you weren't. Do you see the girls anywhere? Russanna: No but they came in here and swarmed you. Smo: Yea, until Gro told Drew to take his mask off. Russanna: (Slaps Gro in the back of the head) What were you thinking?! Gro: (laughing) Why should I make poor Smo suffer with all those gorgeous ladies aound him? I mean all they were after was money, which we have none. That's the universal musician appeal and right now we have none of it, plus I was lonely, uh heh heh, sorry. Smo: Don't worry about it. I've still got Liberty. Gro: Rock on and I've got Adrianne. She's the only company I got. A commotion is heard outside and Drew comes dropping back into the practice room. Smo: Yo dude, what happened? Drew: I was engaging in conversation with them. You know, trying to get to know a little about them and stuff, when these guys come up and say, "And who do you think you are?" They didn't even let me answer. They gave me a major wedgie, dumped me into a garbage can, did a little dance and took off. Gro: Man it seems like I do this every episode. (Motions for them to follow) Smo, Gro, and Drew all head to the scene of the crime. Approximately 100 steps from where they were sitting. Gro: Ok guys, what's the point of picking on my boy Drew here? Guy: Those were our girls. We've been talking to 'em fo' fifteen whole minutes. Gro: Ooooh wow (rolls eyes) almost as bad as copyright infringement. Smo: What does that have to do with this? Guy: I don't think I like your attitude. Gro: Well guess what...your breath ain't too hot from where I'm sitting, no wonder they came in to our garage. Smo: (Acting all arrogant but staying behind Gro) Yea, yea try to mess with us super duper chocolato mama rockin', butter churnin', milk pourin', ice cream eatin', yellow belly chicken eatin', bad hair day everyday lookin', swelly smelly pig oinkin', mooin' chooin' little vermin rat dog goat baaa sheep meow woof crackhead. Jerks: Ooooo, what kind of training did you have to go through to think of that? Gro: (Laughing) He's been to Martha Stewarts Your momma's so....and other put downs school of comebacks. Smo turns around and drops his pants mooning everybody. Gro and Drew start staggering around from the blinding light while the guys have taken off. Camera goes out of control and starts spinning, only getting blurry visions of everything. Smo: Haha! I knew my fat white a...,you know, was useful. Gro & Drew in unison: Help I can't see!! Gro: I think I'm permanently blind. Drew: I can't see a thing. Gro: I'm definitely scarred for life. Drew: Are the girls around? Gro: Do you have a permit for that thing. Sheesh, you could have warned before you wielded. Smo: (Pulls out his permit and shows his mooning permit to the camera) Never leave home without it. If I would have warned you, you would have stopped me. At least I got rid of those jerks. Gro: Yea and what little lunch I had. Oh and the camera man has passed out so no one can see us all they can do is listen. Sheesh. Smo: Oh well, I'm ready to get back to playing anyway. Gro: All right. Let's go rock. Drew: I still can't see. (Thuds and thumps are heard) Gro: Drew!! Watch out for that... Tires are heard screeching and Drew is heard yelling. Gro: Nevermind, let's go rock. Smo and Gro walk back inside and leave Drew outside wandering around aimlessly. Drew: Guys? Hey, gusy? Smo? Gro? Uhhh... (Thud is heard) Ugh, stupid tree, get out of my way! Sound fades out. |