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| Case Study: Woman In Control |
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Screen and music fade in. We see Smo and Gro outside the studio, trying to fight their way
through hordes of angry women.
Lady in Mob: This is so degrading and one-sided! Other Lady in Mob: You guys are the devil! Demanding Lady in Mob: I want more air time! Gro: (Peering to camera off to the side) Hey gang, seems today we have another little problem. Go figure. Smo: Holy smokes, Gro-man! Gro: Can't seem to get rid of 'em, and now it seems we're uh paying for yesterday's ruse on Ella's roomate. Smo: Knowing is only half the battle. Gro: (Looks at Smo) Let's make a break for it. Smo: To infinity and beyond!! Gro: On three. Ready, one...two...(Takes off running) tttthhhhrrreeee..... Smo: Fuzz Lightbeer to the rescue!! Smo bolts in the door, behind Gro, and they throw on the locks and breathe a sigh of relief. Gro: Whew, that was a clo...(Turns around to see Alisa standing behind the desk)...uhm oops... Smo: The tables have turned. (Pushes button on remote and the table turns) Hehehe! Gro: Uhm...hey....uh...how's it goin? Smo: Can't you think of anything better to say than that? (Shakes head in disappointment) Gro: Oh yea, what did you have in mind, smarty pants? Alisa: Yea, what did you have in mind? Smo: Anything but "How's it going?" I mean come on. We're fighting through a mob of angry women here, and we walk in thinking we're safe only to find (Points at Alisa) HER in here and all you can is, "How's it going?" Sheeesh!! You've could have said anything, like, (Mimicking cowboy voice) "This town ain't big enough for the both of us partner," or (Speaking in a sarcastically fearful voice) "It wasn't me, it was the one-armed man." But noooooo!!! You had to go off and say, "How's it going?" Alisa: May I continue? Smo: Yea, sure, why not? Alisa: You two thought you were funny yesterday when you pulled one over on me huh?! Smo: Yea that's the general idea of this show, duh! Gro: Uhm the crowd laughed? Alisa: Well guess what... Gro: (Stupidly asks, "What?" as if she expected him to ask) Smo: (Shakes head in disappointment) You had to ask didn't you? You just had to ask? Alisa: I DIDN'T FIND IT FUNNY!!!!!! Gro: Uhm oops... Smo: (Hair is standing straight back as if he were electrocuted) Whoa boy! I get the feeling she's not too happy with us right now. Gro: Wow boy BLUNDER your quick! Alisa: (Pacing around Smo and Gro) You're very observant. Now it's my turn! A microwave drops down from the ceiling. Inside the microwave is a big marshallow spelling out a word. Smo walks over and pushes some buttons, and the microwave begins heating the contents. The marshmallow gets bigger and bigger as the microwave keeps running. Finally, it stops, and the word "PLOT" is seen. Smo: The plot thickens. Gro: Nice...nice....Smores anyone??? Alisa: (Slaps Smo in the back of the head) You think you're real cute don't you? Smo: Well now that you mention it.... Gro: (Gags) Alisa Snaps her fingers and two bouncers come running in. They grab Smo and Gro and tie them into two different chairs. A spotlight drops down and the lights in the studio go out. Alisa: (Tilts the light into Gro's face) How do you feel now, mister funny man!? Gro: Can you move the light to the other side that's my good side. While Alisa has her attention on Gro, Smo begins slowing scooting his chair back out of the light and into the darkness of the studio. Alisa: (Begins taunting Gro) Wouldn't it be nice to finish first just one time in your life? Gro: I dunno never happened before. Alisa: Aren't you tired of finishing last? (Runs fingers through Gro's hair) Gro: Uhm...uh...well now that you mention it. Alisa: (Continues running her fingers through his hair then suddenly) Take this! (She belts Gro across his face with her open hand) Gro: Oooh again. Alisa: Shut up loser! Gro: Yea so...at least I got my own show, what do you got huh? You may have your looks, your brains, your body, your boyfriend, your power over all men, but what's that compared with what I've got...(Realizes how stupid that just was). Smo: (Heard from the unknown) That was pretty stupid. Alisa: (Turns around to get back at Smo only to find he's gone) Hey! Where did he go?!? (Stands and ponders for a moment, then decides to go back to torturing Gro) Gro: You know, I'm used to this by now. This is what all girls do to me, so you know your tortures are useless. Alisa: Yea but I bet no one has ever played wih your heart and your mind and led you on and then ripped you apart. Gro: (Nonchalantly) Been there...Done that...Got the t-shirt. Alisa: You are pathetic. Gro: No kidding haven't you read the site? Meanwhile, Smo has scooted his chair to the edge of the studio. He gets the attetion of a security guard who cuts him loose. Alisa: (Seductively speaking as she runs her fingers through Gro's hair and gets close to his ear in a whisper) So Gro, don't you miss feminine interACTION?? Gro: (Getting a little hot around the collar) Uhm n...n...n..n..n...n..n...no n..n...n...not at all. Alisa: Bet you would like it if...(Begins whispering in his ear. Gro breaks out into a complete sweat and starts squirming) Gro: Uhm..Well... The camera finds Smo. He is seen walking through the hallway. Camera cuts back to Gro and Alisa. Alisa paces in circles around Gro. Gro appears to be trying to hold it all in. He's sweating and fidgeting. Voice: Will Gro be able to hold off? Will Alisa be able to woo him with her feminine ways? Gro seems to be trying his hardest to hold it all in, but he looks like he's about to explode. Where was Smo going? Is he just going to leave Gro hanging like this? Will the plot thicken anymore... Microwave ding is heard. A strange looking figure comes walking out of the shadows. It has the head of a lion, the body of an ape, the tail of a pig, and the feet of a duck. Alisa and Gro both cringe at the smell as the creature walks into the spotlight. Gro: Oh great as if my night couldn't get any worse that lady from the mob with the pot smoking boyfriend. Suddenly the lady passes out. Gro: Whew! I thought I smelled weed, thank goodness for mop head...NOT!! Alisa: Give in! You know you want me. Gro: No I can't, I won't, I'd like to (shakes his head) but NO!! Suddenly Smo comes swinging down from the rafters. He swings right on by Gro and Alisa and right into the wall. Gro: What will the caped crusader think of next? Sheesh. Smo: Owww. Why do we always miss? (Passes out) Alisa: You guys are so dumb. How dare you try to outsmart me! Gro: (Lowers head in shame) We've been outsmarted by a woman. There's no hope for me now. Alisa walks over to Smo with an arrogant smirk on her face. Alisa: I've got you both right where I want you. Revenge is so sweet. She stands over Smo, peering down on him. Gro: (Singing in the background) Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.... Alisa turns around to look at Gro. Alisa: Would you shut up! Suddenly Smo rolls over and begins spraying Alisa with chocolate syrup. She slips and falls. Gro looks up and sees what is going on. He begins laughing at Alisa. Gro: You look pretty good in chocolate. Alisa: Shut up! Just shut up!!! Smo: Chocoloco man at your service. Bringing that syrupy substance to those who bug you. Alisa gets up and storms out of the studio in complete embarassment and defeat. Gro: Hey Smo, I guess she was just quasi evil, semi evil, she was the margarine of evil, the diet coke of evil, just one calorie not quite evil enough. Smo: That's all for today's show. Smo walks out of studio. It seems everyone has forgotten about Gro. The lights in the studio go out and the sound of locking doors is heard. Gro: Uhh...guys? This isn't very funny. Smo? Janitor? Security? Somebody? Anybody? Help!! (Begins jumping up and down with the chair) I feel so unloved here. Mommmmiiiee!! Screen fades to black. |