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Case Study: In the Spirit of America

Music is played (do do do do, do do do do)

Station Voice: This is a NGFL special Bulletin. Now taking you to your in-studio hosts Smo and Gro.

Gro: This is a special election bulletin. It is reported that Gore won the state of Florida. Thank you.

5 mins later

Music is played (do do do do, do do do do).

Station Voice: This is a NGFL special Bulletin. Now taking you to your in-studio hosts Smo and Gro.

Smo: Uhh it now appears that Bush has won Florida. Sorry for the misinformation. Thank you.

3 mins later.

Music is played (do do do do, do do do do)

Station Voice: This is a NGFL special Bulletin. Now taking you to your in-studio hosts Smo and Gro.

Gro: Uhm hey guys it's me again. It seems now that Gore has won Florida. Thanks

5 more mins later

Music is played (do do do do, do do do do)

Station Voice: This is a NGFL special Bulletin. Now taking you to your in-studio hosts Smo and Gro.

Smo: It seems the tables have turned again. Bush appears to have won Florida. We'll send ya back.

Station Voice: We now resume your regularly sched.....(Interrupted)

Music is played (do do do do, do do do do)

Station Voice: This is a NGFL special Bulletin. Now taking you to your in-studio hosts Smo and Gro.

Gro: (obviously flustered) Ok, dang it, me again, seems Gore has won Florida. We're just gonna sit here for a bit.

10 mins later.

Gro: OK it seems there is no change so we'll send you back.

45 seconds later

Music is played (do do do do, do do do do)

Station Voice: This is a NGFL special Bulletin. Now taking you to your in-studio hosts Smo and Gro.

Smo: The tables have turned yet again. It appears Bush has won Florida. We will have continual coverage of this event from here on out.

6 hours later around 1:17 A.M.

Smo: Ok nothing is happening and nothing is on regular cable. Go to bed, and we'll tell you the 411 tommorrow. This is the news desk signing off.

News bulletin music is played do do do do, do do do do.

Station Voice: (Aggravated) You know who this is, where they are, and what they're doing.

Gro: Uhm ok it seems Florida is Bush's, and Gore has made a phone call conceding the victory. Finally the travisty is over. This is Gro saying goodnight

Two hours later.

Music is played (do do do do, do do do do)

Station Voice: This is a NGFL special Bulletin. Now taking you once again to your in-studio hosts Smo and Gro.

Smo and Gro are in stocking caps and pajama's.

Smo: Ok, not that it suprises me at all, but it seems Gore retracted his concession of defeat and there will be a recount in Florida.

Gro: This is pitiful sheesh.

Smo: Although it appears I've been asleep, I haven't been. I have been studying this political race and I have put together a video for you. Please pay close attention.

Gro: You gotta catch this.

Smo points to the camera. The camera begins rolling the tape. Smo is shown dressed in suit and tie.

Smo: Welcome to Government Conspiracy 101. This is my theory on what is going on in this year's election. Ok, around 6:34 PM, November 7, 2000, Florida announces Al Gore as the winner. Two to three hours later. Florida says that there is no president. Some newspapers have reported Bush as president while others have reported Gore as president. Fact: Florida is recounting their votes. Fact: Jeb Bush, George W's brother, is governor of Florida. Of all the states in this country to be left to decide who the president is, it just so happens that it is Florida, where George W's brother is governor. Fact: There was a ballot box found somewhere in Florida. I have heard no more about this, but it could possibly be a major factor in this theory. Bush seems very confident he is the president, confident enough to rise suspsicion. To add to that confidence, Bush is already picking out his cabinet. Something's up down in Florida.

Gro cuts in and stops tape for a sec.

Gro: Interesting...I think so.

Everyone knows the situation in Palm Beach, Florida. The only fair thing to do in this situation is to let the people re-vote. It would save everyone a lot of headaches and prevent a lot of stress. Note: Pat Buchanan admits that those who accidentally voted for him meant to vote for Gore. What would happen if, by chance, there was a re-vote? All those who voted for Buchanan and Nader vote for Gore, and Gore becomes president of the US.

Interesting Historical Fact: Every year that there has been an election in a year ending in zero (e.g. 1900, 1920, 2000), the president that won the election, either died in office, was assassinated, or there was an assassination attempt. (Provided courtesy of John Weaver)

Let's assume Bush wins. Here's what happens if this takes place. Bush becomes president, he dies, all members involved in the conspiracy live with extreme guilt for the rest of their lives. Now let's invetigate the flip side. If Gore wins, he just dies and Lieberman becomes president. (All the above is based on the interesting historical fact stated above.)

Conspiracy? I think so.

The tape ends and the camera goes back to Smo and Gro.

Smo has passed out and is heard snoring.

Smo: zzzZZZZzzzzZZZ.....

Gro: (Yawn) Uhm that's it for us.

Gro lays his head down as the screen fades out.