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Case Study: Even Money Can't Get a Date

*The screen fades in. We see Manny sitting on a bench in a jail cell. The camera pans around showing the empty hallways and zooms in to Smo sitting in a constraint booth waiting to visit Manny.

Smo: (whistling) I didn't expect to have to wait this long. Usually they're prompt and on time.

*Smo looks around to see if anyone is watching then begins drawing on the table with his pen. Moments later a masterpiece has formed. The camera shows an overhead shot of Smo's work. It is very abstract and the best a black pen can do. It appears to be a picture of a girl rejecting Smo, Gro, Jason, and even Hubbard. But, of course, with abstract art it can be anything.

Smo: (sliding folders over the drawing) What is taking so long?! (smo calls the nearest guard over) Can I get some donuts and coffee while I sit here for the next eternity to roll around?

Guard: We have no donuts around here.

Smo: (befuzzled) What??!?! I am at the county jail, correct?

Guard: Yes that's right.

Smo: Then why are there no donuts?!

Guard: I believe we've eaten them all.

Smo: Ok. (sigh of relief) That's the answer I was hoping for. I thought the world was about to end cause the cops had no donuts.

*Smo stands up and pushing his face against the glass as if trying to look around the other side. His cheeks, nose, and forehead leave big oil prints after he pulls away.

Smo: (looking at glass) Man, I've got enough to oil to keep my car stocked for a year. Geez...

*A door on the other side opens and Manny is seated across from Smo. The guard tells them they have 15 minutes and then walks off.

Smo: Finally. I've been sitting here for a long long time waiting on you.

Manny: There always prompt in the movies. They just came back and got me. I had no clue you were here.

Smo: Oh well. Let's talk business. The way I understand it, you paid $5.00 to spend time in here to help out a group that was doing a fund raiser. You're going to be spending over 3 hours in here, and when you asked out the judge lady and the jungle lady they both rejected you.

Manny: Yea that's right. I thought I'd be generous and help out the cause. $5.00 is a lot of money to a college student man! So anyway, I've been in here for a couple of hours and I've still got a while to go. I went as far to tell the judge lady that I'd take everyone out to dinner and movie, on me! I still got rejected. It's crazyness, man!!

Smo: Yea man. I can't believe what this world has come to. As soon as I got the call, I rushed down here to get the story straight from you man. This is an atrosity to the 5th degree.

Manny: Really! I mean I offered to take all the ladies to dinner and a movie and what happened? I got rejected. I mean I was nice enough to help out with the fund raiser, then I get shot down when I offer to buy dinner. I don't understand what this world is coming to!

Smo: I don't know what to do man. This is a total stab right here man (puts fist to his chest). I mean I thought money made the world go round. Money's always been power. I just don't get it.... Oh man, check out this drawing.

*Smo lifts up his folder for Manny to see. Manny stands up to take a peek. They both begin laughing.

Manny: You know if they see that, they'll probably put you in here, too.

*One of the guards walks by and Smo follows her with his eyes.

Smo: Do all the guards look like that?!

Manny: Yea, dude. All the guards are hot. The judge isn't all that great but I was just trying to be nice to her.

Smo: If all the guards look like that, then it might not be a bad idea to spend some time here.

Manny: Yea man. I've been sitting back in my cell watching them all walk back and forth. It's a great view, but they don't pay much attention to me when I try to talk to them.

Smo: Another thing that is odd about all this is that you're quite the ladies man. But I still can't believe that money couldn't get you a date.

*Cute guard passes by Smo and Manny.

Smo: Hey there beautiful. How ya doin today?

Guard: Back off creep

Manny: Are you always this smooth with the ladies?

Smo: Heck, that's the nicest response I've gotten. Sounds like it's time for me to get out of here.

*Guard escorts Manny away and Manny is locked in his cell.

Smo: Later Mann....

*Suddenly a loud noise is heard in the background.

Manny: What the....

Smo: Oh no...it can't be.

*Camera pans to the prison bars where we see a large hook come flying in and latch to the bars.

Manny: Somebody help!!!

Smo: I can't believe he's doin this.

*Camera pans to Gro, Bud, and Hub sitting in a large Ford dually.

Hubb: Don't we usually allow 15 minutes before we dial 911?

Bud: Yea, but I don't know the number for 911.

Gro: Uhh, guys? We're at the police station.

Bud: (sheepishly) Uhhh, yea. I knew that. (slaps Hubb)

Hubb: Ow!! Why did you do that?!

Bud: You're supposed to tell me these things so I don't look stupid.

Hubb: There's no hope for you NOT looking stupid.

Bud: Shutup, man!

Gro: Shouldn't Smo be out now?! He's been in there for almost an hour.

Bud: Maybe he was mistaken for a donut.

Hubb: (slaps Bud) You dummy this is a fund raising thing. The majority of the real cops are out patrolling.

Bud: (slaps Hubb) If you would tell me these things, then I wouldn't look so ignorant and stupid.

Gro: Guys... I think I'm going in for him.

Hubb: What the heck do you want to do that for?!

*A fine guard walks out the door.

Hubb: Whoa! (flies out of the truck) What are you guys waiting for?!?! We've got to save Smo.

Bud: Yes!! We must save poor poor Smo.

Gro: (smiling) Yes, I've always got the greatest ideas.

*Gro, Hubb, and Bud walk in the police station and begin looking around.

Gro: I've come to save you guys the peril is too great!!

*Smo is heard from the back. He seems to be in trouble.

Smo: But the peril is too great in here. Do not enter!

Gro: I must save you for the peril is too much for you to handle come with me!!!

*Gro sends Hubb and Bud in after Smo. They return dragging Smo out kicking and screaming.

Smo: Let me back in there I can take care of myself.

Hubb: But they said it was too perilous in there for you.

Smo: Peril is my middle name!!

Bud: Come on quit yapping.

Smo: (exiting the building) I bet your gay.

*The tape rewinds and the camera zooms into to Smo.

Smo: (official announcer voice) Sorry for that interruption but one of the editors of our show must have just finished watching Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

*Gro, Hubb, and Bud walk in the police station and begin looking around.

Hubb: I don't see anything.

*A scuffle is heard in the back.

Hubb: I bet there's something going on in the back.

Gro: Really? Since when did you become a genius?

Hubb: Uhhh... let me get back to you on that.

*Gro, Hubb, and Bud run to the back. They find Smo passed out on the floor, Manny being held against the cell bars, and a large hook hooked around Manny's neck.

Bud: Whoa!

Gro: Manny!?? Are you ok?!?

Manny: Take a deep breath and you'll know what's going on?

*Gro, Bud, and Hubb take a deep breath.

Gro: Ahh man... it's the stank breat of the Ohi-Ho.

*Bud and Hubb pass out.

Gro: (looking down) Oh boy, good thing I stay prepared with my anti-ohi-ho booster shots.

*From around the corner Gro catches the scent trail of the worst super villian ever.

Gro: I must awaken everyone and hit them with the booster.

*Gro runs to the truck and retrieves a small black box from under the seat of the truck.

Gro: Crap 4 of them 3 shots left, who to leave who to leave...wait maybe Manny's still ok.

*Gro runs back in to find manny dangling and passed out.

Gro: Ok so maybe not, plan B leave someone down, but who?

*Gro goes into deep thought. We can hear his thoughts.

Gro's Thoughts: Let's see Hubb is just all around cool, he's quick, he has some common sense. Bud has military training, but today he's proving to be so ignorant. Poor Smo thought he'd gotten rid of the Ohi-Ho. Manny's already suffered once. Ahh-ha... I'm taking Hubb, Smo, and Bud. Manny will wake up by the time we get finished with this. Uhhh, wait a sec.... What is this? What the heck am I going to do? What the heck are we going to do? We're talking about Miss Stank Breath USA, here. Oh my gosh, I have no plan. I have no chocolate. I have no weapons. I..Uhhh...I-I-I... I don't know....

*Gro passes out and the screen fades to black.