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| G-Men Adventures: Not Quite Superheros |
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*Screen fades in as you get a birds eye view of Jerksville, with the mammoth towers and
Jerks only diners and parks. We see a couple enjoying the park, while the guy seems to be
enjoying all of the park scenery. In the background we hear snickering from the bushes.
Undistinguishable voice: (snickering) Watch this. It's gonna be great. *Suddenly the jerk seeems to be checking out the guys. Guy: Hmm he's kinda cute... Gilfriend: What...what did you say?! (runs off crying) Smo: (emerging from the bushes) Thanks Mr. Fresh. It's off to save the day now. Mwhahaha. Manny: All in a days work my friend. *Jason comes rolling up in the clunk of funk. Jason: Hop in Manny. We'll pick up Smo. We got another NG Emergency!! Manny: What now my friend? Jason: We have some guy who have just been broken the news that his girl loves her brother and that she's also in love with his mom but she only wants to have sex with.... Manny: Ok that's enough! Sounds like they should have called The Jerry Springer Show® instead. Jason: Springer's the one who called. If this guy jumps he's got no show. Manny: Let him fall then Jason: No can do chief. Manny: Why not? Jason: Because if we save the show, we get an unlimited supply of chocolate, compliments of Springer himself, and we also get to make an appearance on the show. Manny: I've always thought it would be interesting to be on the Springer show. Make this clunk of funk chunk. This is a job for (Barney Theme Song plays).... What the... (music screeches to a halt)... Jason: oops sorry *blushes* *G-men theme song plays* *The clunk of funk screetches to a halt in front of someone who appears to be SMO. Girl: (giggling) Hehe. That tickles the back of my throat. Smo: If you... Manny: Yo SMO!!! Yea you, the dude who wears pink panties to bed and a bra on your head at night. SMO!!! Smo: (gritting teeth) What MANNY! Manny: Hop in! We gotta jet to save some squirt. Smo: (Hops in car giving his famous goodbye kiss for the next half block. In best imitation French accent) Can't beat a good french kiss, no? Jason : Oui Capitan. Manny: Puhlease. Hey Smo! Smo: (as if in trance) Yes my great and mighty daddy above a daddy's who pimps like no one's buisness. *Smo continues with the endless mindnumbing string of flatteries. Jason: Ok Manny, enough already. Smo: (revives from his trance, and slowly starts coming back to reality) What, huh, uhm...nevermind. I feel weird. Manny: Look wierd too! *Tongue comes flying across Manny's face. Manny: Ouch dude! *Car comes screeching to a halt. Jason: THAT'S IT!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!! Smo and Manny: Uhm....huh....well, we uh.... Jason : Gotcha! We're at headquarters. Look around guys. *Smo and Manny absent-mindedly look around. Jason: Quick! We've got to get some supplies and head out. *Jason, Smo, and Manny run into HQ. A few moments pass and Jason comes running out and jumps into the clunk of funk. He turns around to see what happened to Manny and Smo. Manny comes waddling out with his arms loaded with supplies. Smo is lagging behind. Jason: Come on guys!! We've got to get going! Smo: Maybe if you would have helped, we wouldn't be taking so long. Jason: But why would I want to do that? Manny: That's a good question to ponder because I don't want to be doing it. Jason: We don't have time to ponder, let's roll! *Jason puts the pedal to the medal. As the clunk of funk burns rubber Smo manages to grab hold of the back just before Jason pulls out. Manny: I think we forgot Smo. Jason: (looks in rearview mirror) No we didn't. He's back there. *Manny turns around to see Smo being drug behind the clunk of funk. *The three arrive to find the other half staring up at JERKSWILLWIN INC. bat building. Smo: He's way up there? Hub: Nah. He's standing down here threatening to jump. Bud: We guess he's up there. It's too high to see up. Manny: Well let's get going. We have no time to waste! *The G-Men run into JERKSWILLWIN INC. Smo: Quick, to the top floor. *Smo begins running up the stairs. Hubb: What a dumb a... Jason: (interrupting) We know, we know. Bud: There's the elevator. Let's get to the top. *The crew gets in the elevator and the ascent begins. Moments later the Elevator stops. Jason: What's going on? (pushes button for the top floor) Hubb: Uhhhh...I think we're stuck. *Suddenly the door opens and the crew is standing in an office type setting. Bud: Looks like we made it to the top floor. Gro: This looks like something out of a movie. Jason: Yea. See that chair over there. It's going to swirl around and this big huge scary guy is going to start talking to us. *The chair swirls around and a little 4 foot, bald headed, rabbit eared munchkin faces the crew. *The Group rolls on the floor laughing uncontrollably. Munchkin: Guards apprehend them. *The group is easily overtaken in their state. Munchkin: Aren't there 6 or you? Hub: Uhm...nope just us four. Bud: No wait Hub what about Smo and Gro you forgot about them. Jason: Shut it you blundering idiot. Bud: Oops. Munchkin: Guards search the building. Bring me the other two. *The guards exit the room. The crew has been tied down to chairs and have been faced back to back.... Meanwhile, back with Smo. Smo: (breathing heavily) This superhero stuff is hard work. Maybe I should consider getting in shape. (turning to look behind him) Guys? Hey guys?! I wonder were they went. (pondering for a moment) Oh well. There's superhero stuff to be done. *Smo begins climbing the stairs once again. After a lot running and frequent stops to breathe, Smo makes it to the top. Smo: (sigh of relief) Finally! *Smo looks around trying to find the guy that was going to jump. Smo: Where could he be?... Hmmmmmm. *Smo begins searching for the jumper. Smo: (peering into a room) There you are. *Smo let's his tongue fly as he triumphantly saves the Jerry Springer show...or so he thinks. Smo: What the heck?! You're nothing but an oversized rag doll. Guard: Exactly. (looking at other guard) Get him! Smo: (turning around) What?! Ahhhhh. *The two guards grab Smo and take him down the munchkin's office. Guard: We found this one, sir. Smo: (surprised to see his friends) Hey guys. What are you doing tied up? You guys are superheros. *The group looks at each other as in surprise. Hubb: You know, the man has a point. Manny: Yes we are superheros!! *The crew suddenly jumps up breaking free of the ropes and the chairs. They begin to make an assault on the enemy when they're frozen in their tracks. Munchkin: Muwhahaha. You guys are so stupid. Your powers are useless against me. As long as I have this statue of a cheeseburger doing ballet, you guys will stay frozen. *Suddenly Gro comes flying through the window imitating Tarzan's yell. He flies past the crew and the guards and smashes into the wall. The whole room erupts in laughter at this amazing feat. Bud: (laughing uncontrollably) That was great, Gro. We needed a good laugh to break the tension in here. Manny: Hey guys! Guys! We're not frozen anymore! Hubb: No duh Manny. How do you think we started laughing. Manny: Guys! (cough cough) We're not frozne anymore. Hubb: Oooooohhh. We're not frozen anymore. Munchkin: (boucing up and down in his chair due to the uncontrollable laughter) You guys call yourselves superheros?! Hahahahahahaha.... more like super losers! Manny: That's what you think. *Manny appears to be concentrating really hard. The Munchkin gets up and begins doing ballet on top of his desk. Munchkin: What's going on?! Ahhhhh, I can't stop! *The Munchkin looks down to see his Ballet Cheeseburger statue broken on the floor. Munchkin: NO!!!! My precious statue. Guards get them! *The guards begin rushing the crew when they're pants fall down and they trip. Hubb: Good going, Bud! *Jason extends his wrist and ties up the guards. Jason: What should we do with the Munchkin? Hubb: I'll take care of this. *Hubb lifts his arms and the Munchkin goes flying out the window and into the sky. Smo: Nothing like a hard day's work. Bud: Tell me about it. What about Gro? *The crew looks over to find Gro still smashed onto the wall. They walk over and peel him off. Manny: Gro, you ok? Gro: (talking like a chipmunk on speed) I think so. What happened? Jason: We got our appearance on the Springer show. *The screen goes black and fades in to the Jerry Springer show. The crew is lined up on stage. Manny's seen with two women all over him. The rest of crew are just sitting there looking around. The screen fades again and goes to a shot of an airplane. The camera pans around to the left wing where we see the Munchkin hanging out for dear life. The screen fades to black. |